Moving forward

It would appear that my last post has attracted an audience. Furthermore, it has inspired one person to start writing. But in this cruel world, not everyone is as talented as I am, so my dear Isabelle was unable to think of anything to write about. So I proposed we write a dialogue.

The following is the result of my brilliant idea. 

Do not read this if you have a heart condition. I will not be held responsible for anything that may happen to you while reading this dialogue.

Me: How do we start?

You're the English student.

Isabelle: If I had an idea, I would write a story or smth

Me: Maybe we should set some ground rules first.

Safety first eh?

I: Like what

Me: If, at any point, you're uncomfortable with where the conversation is going, type:

"I like your bottom. It is exquisite."

Deal?

I: Deal.

Me: Ehm, might as well introduce yourself.

I: I'll let you do it  first.

Me: You're too kind.

Hmm. Who am I?

I am a man with very dense hair.

I enjoy drinking cocktails, reading, and most of all fondling delicate lady parts.

I: Is it my turn now?

Me: Yes.

Go ahead.

I: Ah, I never know what to say when talking about myself.

Me: Don't you have any character?

Any trait to speak of?

I: I'm afraid everything I say will be used against me at one point

Me: All right, let's make it an interview then.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul.

Why not start there?

What's the colour of your eyes?

I: They are dark brown, sometimes they even seem red.

Me: Oh.

I see.

Are you a demon?

A succubus?

I: Haha, not myself, but you can say there are demons within me.

Me: Is that a medical condition?

I: No. Maybe. I don't know.

I'm very indecisive.

Me: "Or am I?"

Moving on. Is this indecisiveness affecting your love life?

And don't say: "I'm unsure."

I: Yes. I never know what to do.

Am I really feeling something...or not

Me: Hmm, it does seem like a medical condition.

What are you feeling now?

Describe the sensations.

I: It is hot. I am annoyed at the fact that there are too many people in the house.

I am also hungry.

And amused

Me: Do you feel trapped?

I: No, just hungry.

But I won't eat until they leave.

Me: Let's focus on the positives then. What is the source of your amusement?

I: My mom got magnets for the fridge

she looks like a child on Christmas morning

Me: Never understood the fascination people have with refrigerator magnets.

I: Wherever her best friend goes, she brings those

Me: Maybe, she's escaping the grey, dull everyday existence. Those magnets are all that's standing between meaninglessness of life and death.

Is life really that valuable? Are we deluding ourselves?

Good heavens, that took a dark turn. Say something happy quick!

I like your bottom. It is exquisite.

----------------------------------------

Well, I would say that went great, didn't it? Didn't it? How dare you suggest otherwise?! 

Wait, who am I talking to?